


This Could Be Hell

by take_ninetynine



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Gen, Mediocre Writing Ability, Rambling, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-07-10 16:14:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6994120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/take_ninetynine/pseuds/take_ninetynine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He guesses he understands how Dean felt, as twisted as it is: their dad went to Hell to save Dean, and now Dean is all set to follow suit for Sam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Could Be Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Colts and Quills Writing Challenge #1  
> Song: "Hotel California" by the Eagles  
> Keys: something misplaced, a secret, time's running out  
> Challenge: outdoor setting  
> Max Words: 500

Sam races out of the motel room faster than a demon out of a broken devil’s trap, resisting the urge to retch into the pot of a nearby wilting fern. Maybe he’ll just wait a few minutes before trying to extract Dean and take him to Bobby’s—anything not to run the risk of seeing his older brother in the middle of, well, _that_ again.

He doesn’t return to the Impala, because the thin curtains over the window aren’t enough to shield Sam from the occupants’ shadows. Instead he wanders down the deserted road; he needs a break from research, and the brisk autumn air might help clear his mind.

Five minutes later and nothing’s changed except his surroundings. Or he thinks it’s been five minutes: his watch is missing… hopefully it’s in the Impala somewhere. It doesn’t really matter how long he’s been walking. Pictures and paragraphs from the books he’s been reading still splay across his mind, fresh and clear as if they were still open in his lap as they drive, spread on the table as he’s supposed to be studying the case, balanced on the sink as he brushes his teeth. Always trying to keep the contents out of Dean’s line of sight.

Just a  _year_ … Sam can’t understand how Dean could take that deal. Mostly Sam can’t understand how _casually_ Dean’s willing to toss himself into the furnace. He made Sam promise not to try to save him, and Sam felt like a kid for crossing his fingers behind his back as he did. But he wasn’t going to agree so quickly; every second of waking free time, he and Bobby _read_ , looking for anything that might be even marginally useful.

He guesses he understands how Dean felt, as twisted as it is: their dad went to Hell to save Dean, and now Dean is all set to follow suit for Sam. It’s the rightful order, in Dean’s mind. He’s never had the greatest self-esteem, but Sam never realized how bad it was until he found out what Dean did. They’d always been handled with gruff words and calloused hands and harsh realities, and Sam realizes that Dean made the deal because to him, what is his life really worth? It hurts Sam to think about. He  _can't_ let his big brother go to Hell, not if there’s a minute chance.

A single car passes him by, listening to “Hotel California” with the windows down; Sam hums along almost unconsciously. He figures it’s been long enough: they need to get on the road, and it’s a long trip even as fast as Dean drives.

Soon they sliding into the car, ready to go. Sam looks at his brother, still grinning with enthusiasm after his little tryst, and he smiles if only because Dean is smiling. Because Dean is miles more important than he realizes.

This is why he has to save him: to prove to him that he’s worth saving.


End file.
